After the successful egg retrieval that yielded 21 eggs, I entered perhaps the most emotional phase of my fertility journey. Statistics showed that at my age, only about one in seven eggs would result in viable embryos. But sometimes reality pleasantly surprises you.
When the results came back after fertilization and testing, I had five viable embryos of different grades – a remarkable 25% success rate that exceeded expectations. The breakdown was 4 boys and 1 girl.
I faced an unexpected ethical dilemma: whether to choose the embryo’s gender. Part of me felt like I was playing against nature, but with only one female embryo among the five, I decided to start with her. It was a deeply personal decision that each person must make for themselves.
The initial insemination process went smoothly. I followed doctor’s orders, resting in bed for several days, hoping and dreaming. When we discovered it wasn’t successful, I was devastated. However, I had mentally prepared myself at the beginning of this journey to try three times before considering other options.
Instead of moving straight to a second attempt, my doctor recommended something fascinating – a test run to understand why the first transfer failed. The results were surprising: I was actually too healthy! My robust immune system was treating the embryo as a foreign object and eliminating it.
Armed with this knowledge, my doctor developed a new strategy. A week before the second insemination, I received IV treatments to reduce my white blood cell activity. Of all the procedures throughout my fertility journey and pregnancy, this was the only time I felt genuinely sick and weak.
The anxiety was intense this time – would it work? But I wasn’t alone. My best friend Andrea and friend Karima became my personal support team. They picked me up from the doctor, stayed with me for three days, kept me laughing and entertained, worked alongside me from my couch, watched TV with me, and became what I lovingly called “my bitches” 😂
This time felt different. During the first attempt, I had physically felt the embryo leave my body. This time, I didn’t have that sensation. And then came the news that would change my life – I was pregnant! With a boy!
Having learned from my journey so far, I took a different approach this time. I kept the news private, sharing with only a select few until I passed the first trimester “safe zone.” In those quiet early weeks, I allowed myself to start dreaming about our life together.
This phase of my journey taught me several valuable lessons:
- Sometimes our bodies have different plans than our minds
- Medical science can often find solutions when we understand the problem
- The support of good friends is invaluable
- Each setback can lead to eventual success
- Sometimes our expectations (like wanting a girl) aren’t what life has in store for us – and that’s perfect
For those on their own fertility journey: stay strong, be flexible with your plans, and don’t be afraid to rely on your support system. Sometimes the path to parenthood takes unexpected turns, but each step brings you closer to your goal.
